Al Gore is so fat that...

Recently, I noticed how much weight Al Gore has gained since I first saw him several years ago. Thought I'd poke fun at him a bit and write a few lines for Jay Leno or something. But all joking aside the guy deserves credit for raising public awareness of a potential problem that we can at least try to control our contribution to. We are the stewards of the planet after all.

I dispute the fact that he deserved a Nobel Peace Prize for his work. Even misguided as he is in his views...he is at least trying to make a difference and should deserve some sort of humanitarian award in it's place.

Al Gore is so fat that...

We gotta keep him out of the ocean to prevent the polar bears from drowning.

He can't see his carbon footprints.

He had to turn in his private jet and buy the Spruce Goose to get around.

We could tie a balloon to him and plug the ozone hole...on second thought, he's so full of balloon is actually required.

Ice flows break under his feet.

His momma had to register his birth as twins.

Big and Tall wants to start an Al Gore clothing line.

We could melt him down for alternative fuel if it wasn't for the ozone problem.

His tailor should install a "heffa" filter in his britches.

I guess you could say he's full of it.

He needs to be monitored for C02 emissions with all that smoke he's blowin. Speaking of Smoke, he must be inhaling these days.

Richter scales need to be recalibrated for accuracy.

His wife must be keeping dinner warm for him on a "Global Warming Tray". Heaven forbid if he miss a meal.

It's the real truth at this point that's Inconvenient.

GreanPeace has him logged in on the weigh-in for migrating whales.

Wearing a white fur-coat around polar bears is too sexy for safety. Of course the wife must be saying "Did I Do that?"

Spandex is definately out - he needs something with the ability to stretch the truth AND cover it up! That probably lets Gore-Tex out also.

He should have made the Information Super Highway a little wider, the truth is trying to use the passing lane.

One must question: Are they carbon footprints or just a phony sasquach siteing? You be the judge.

He must have worked at Burger King, which also explains why he can't stop selling Whoppers. What concerns me most about this is that he's also selling lies instead of fries.

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